As a Confirmation Sponsor, you should talk to your Candidate about the importance of community service and, if possible, do some service projects together. Community service is a fundamental aspect of our Christian faith, because it allows us to put our faith into action. When we serve others, we are able to reflect the love of Christ and make a positive impact in our communities.

In Matthew 22:39, Jesus teaches that the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. Your Candidate should understand that doing service provides a tangible way for them to love and serve their neighbors by meeting their needs and addressing issues in the community.

Community service also allows Candidates to share the love of Christ with others. Serving others gives them the opportunity to share their faith and show the love of Christ in a very real and practical way. Through their actions, they can demonstrate the love and compassion of God to those around them.

As a Sponsor, you should also consider the fact that serving others can help Candidates grow in their own faith. By serving others, they are often required to step out of their comfort zones and rely on God for strength and guidance. If you reflect on the experience with them, it’s an opportunity for them to deepen their relationship with God and develop an even greater understanding of their faith.

Emphasize to your Candidate that community service is important to Christians because it allows us to make a positive impact in our communities. When we take action to address issues such as poverty, hunger, and homelessness, we bring hope and change to the lives of those around us. This is a powerful and concrete way to bring the light of Christ to the world – and Candidates can do it as they prepare for their Confirmation!

The thing is, I’ve been there before. Life just doesn’t always cooperate by sending us a nice, steady flow of things to do, challenges to face, and problems to solve. Sometimes things are going along almost effortlessly. Other times, it’s like a logjam of issues, making it hard to even determine what to do first.

I’m sure you’ve been there, and our teens will be there too (if they haven’t been there already).

At times like that, it’s tempting to tell our teens, “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.” Have you used that one before? If so, please stop. God isn’t doing these things to us, doling out problems and challenges. Life does that. Other people do that. The decisions and choices we make do that. Think of what we face in life as being a result of humans having free will, not as some story that God has plotted out for us.

The simple fact is that many people will face more than they can handle. It’s probably safe to say that, at some point in our lives, most of us will face more than we can handle. Or, to put it more accurately, we’ll face more than we can handle alone.

We need to show our teens that one of the wonderful things about being a Christian and surrounding ourselves with loving, supportive people, is that we don’t have to face everything alone! We have others to lean on – just as they can lean on us when they need to. And the Holy Spirit is among us too. With the help of others and the strength of God’s grace, we can get through those times when we feel overwhelmed. It might not be easy, and the results might not be exactly what we’d like, but we can do it. We can face those times of overwhelm and keep going.

So, what did I do? I stopped staring at my computer screens and started contacting people. Can you take care of this for me? Do you know who I can talk to about that? Can we move the deadline on this other thing? Does this really need to be done?

I stopped occasionally to breathe, clear my head, and pray a little bit. Then I kept working my way through everything. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t perfect. And not everything got done on time. But with the help of others and some strength and calmness from the Spirit, I made it through the overwhelm.

If I can do it, then you can do it, and our teens can learn to do it too!

To make a personal change, addressing actions isn’t enough!

It’s frustrating when we see something so clearly, while teens just don’t seem to get it. How can that happen? How do they justify the bad choices they’ve made? How can they say and do certain things? Why in the world do they believe some of the things they do?

Well, it’s not really that difficult to understand.

Let’s start with the end – the results they achieve. In this case, our teens have caused us to be angry and frustrated. These results were driven by their actions – what they said and did – and those actions were caused by their beliefs. At which point, we want to shout, “But why do they believe those stupid things?!?”

People’s beliefs come from their experiences. Or, more accurately, their interpretation of those experiences. What happens to us, and how we understand our experiences, forms our beliefs. Our beliefs drive our actions, and our actions deliver results. It’s true with adults, and it’s true with our teens.

As adults (and as Confirmation Sponsors), we tend to focus on the behaviors – the actions – and simply try to convince our teens to change them. If they achieve a bad result, we explain how their actions caused it and either coerce or guilt them into choosing different actions. Unfortunately, that doesn’t address the underlying beliefs or how they are interpreting what they’re experiencing in life.

If we want to help our teens grow into healthy, well-balanced adults, then we should teach them to look deeper than their actions. Let’s show them how to examine their beliefs, and then question why they believe what they do. What experiences are helping to create those beliefs, and are there other ways of interpreting those experiences?

It’s a healthy habit to develop. Without it, they run the risk of stagnating, or closing their minds to anything that doesn’t align to their current view of the world. Creation is bigger than that. God is bigger than that. To continue to grow in their faith, our teens need to be open to change.

And guess what? We do too.

So, if we want to help our teens learn to change and grow, then we need to practice looking deeper too!

What most sponsors don’t realize is that they have been given an incredible opportunity to play a critical and necessary role in the life of a young person. We live in a busy society and things are NOT like they used to be. Although teens and young adults may seem hyper-connected thanks to social media and the veritable super computers they carry in their pockets, the reality is much different.

Young People Feel Alone

In spite of all the amazing technology that keeps us “connected” 24×7, recent studies by Springtide Research Institute show that 1 in 3 of our young people feel completely alone much of the time. Think about that: Over a third of our youth and young adults, ages 13 to 25, feel utterly alone in this world – a world that also seems like we’re always “on.” And if that wasn’t bad enough, almost 40% of these young people say they have no one to talk to and they feel completely left out.

When I’ve spoken to sponsors about this, their initial reaction is almost always something like this: “Those studies are probably done with ALL young people – but I bet those who are active in their Church and are in programs like youth group or Confirmation Prep don’t feel that way!”

It’s a nice thought… but the researchers considered that too. These same studies showed that participating in religious groups had “virtually no protective effect” when it came to the experience of loneliness. Based upon both survey results and face-to-face interviews, the researchers concluded that “participation” is definitely not the same as feeling like you “belong.”

My youth was spent in the 70s and 80s – a time when you either saw someone in person or you called them on the phone. (Full disclosure: I was a HORRIBLE pen pal!) For someone my age – or even 15 or 20 years younger – it’s hard to believe that today’s technology isn’t bridging the gap and allowing young people to stay far more connected than we ever could. And yet young people today feel socially isolated. In fact, almost 10% reported they had NO meaningful social interaction in a typical day!

Lest you think that’s no big deal, you must also consider that over half of 13- to 25-year-olds said they experience multiple stress factors; and 35% of them indicated that they have absolutely no one to turn to when they’re stressed.

Wow. Lot’s of bad news, right? But there is actually some very good news – and that’s where you come in as a Confirmation sponsor!

One Caring Adult Makes a Difference

These same studies by Springtide found that young people who have a meaningful relationship with a trusted adult in a religious organization feel less isolated, less stressed, more confident about their future, and more connected overall. Simply having one trusted adult to rely upon reduced the experience of social isolation that was so common among the young people who participated in the study.

Springtide identified what they call the “Belongingness Process,” which can be thought of as a progression through levels of relationship.

The first level is the feeling that “I am noticed.” It sounds so simple – but many young people feel completely overlooked and ignored. As a caring adult, you need to start by noticing – by paying attention to – the young people you encounter.

The second level is the feeling that “I am named.” Again, it sounds simple, but most adults don’t even bother to learn the names of the young people around them – even those they encounter on a regular basis. It’s not enough to just notice young people, you also have to remember their names.

The third level is the feeling that “I am known.” Noticing young people and remembering their names is relatively easy. Getting to know them as human beings with thoughts, feelings, and lived experiences – and genuinely understanding and KNOWING them – takes time, energy, and focus. But the payoff is tremendous because it benefits both the young people and the church community. As I said, having a relationship with just one caring adult within the parish community helps the young person feel less isolated, less stressed, more confident about their future, and more connected overall. And that feeling of connection makes it much more likely they’ll remain in the Church as they get into college and then out into the workforce, which is when many, many young adults drift away from the faith.

How to Be a Caring Adult

YOU can make a huge difference as a sponsor! YOU can help a younger person deal with the struggles of life now, and then make it much more likely they’ll stay in the Church during the years to come. I think that’s worth a little extra time, energy, and focus on your part, don’t you?

If you’re willing to make the commitment to have such a profound impact in the life of your Confirmation candidate, then you should take either the Confirmation Sponsor Crash Course LITE or the Confirmation Sponsor Crash Course FULL version. But in the meantime, start with these three basic steps:

Action 1: Give your candidate the experience of being noticed and named. Contact your candidate regularly, call him or her by name (frequently), and show a genuine interest in what’s going on in his or her life… not just in regards to Confirmation!

Action 2: Help your candidate experience a feeling of “belonging” by practicing “nonjudgment.” Ask open-ended questions and then listen to understand. Try not to dole out all kinds of advice because it’s often perceived as judgment, and the Springtide studies indicated that accepting young people without judgment was absolutely essential for feelings of deep belongingness to happen.

Action 3: Be intentional with building a relationship. Don’t be hit-or-miss, showing interest in spurts (when it’s convenient for you) and never being consistent. Come up with a plan – make yourself a schedule – and commit to it. If you are intentional and don’t rely on things “just happening,” you’ll find that it’s much, much easier to have a significant positive impact in your candidate’s Confirmation prep and life!

Remember that most young people are only one adult relationship away from a better life. Be that adult! Make a difference! With the help of the Holy Spirit, I know you can do it.

Every week, I spend time reading and rereading Scripture. I study the context and try to discern the layers of meaning that are often present. When I look at passages from the Gospel in this way, it means I’m looking with an almost critical eye. Are the words meant literally only? Should they be taken literally at all? Or is their meaning figurative, pointing to something deeper? Especially when it comes to the words of Jesus, there’s almost always so much more there than meets the eye!

The problem is that Jesus can start to feel like a bit of an enigma. Do I really know him? Am I really sure of what he’s saying? And have I discerned his call for me correctly? Questions and more questions. It’s hard to be a fan of that!

And yet, if we’re true disciples – true followers of Christ – isn’t that what we’re striving for? You can tell an Alabama football fan at a glance! But how many people would look at you and think, “Now THERE’S a true Christian!”

When teens are fans of someone – whether an athlete, musician, actor, or social media influencer – they feel like they know the person. They follow the “star” on social media, stay up on the latest news and gossip, and then talk about it with other fans they know.

If our teen Confirmation Candidates aren’t doing that with Christ – our Lord and Savior – then I’m guessing it’s because they don’t feel like they really know Jesus very well. As Sponsors, part of our role is to help change that situation. It could start with us making sure that when we meet with our Candidates, we’re actually talking about Jesus more often. Everyone doesn’t need to study Scripture the way I do, but every Sponsor should try spending more time reading the Gospels and talking to Jesus in prayer.

Start with yourself. Try to become clearly recognizable as a fan of Jesus… and then show your Candidate the joy of being a true disciple!

Need bit more helping playing the role of Confirmation Sponsor? Check out our online training for sponsors!

For infant baptisms, the godparents are selected by the parents. They represent the entire Christian community and are expected to help raise the child in the faith. Godparents for adult baptisms are expected to help prepare the person for baptism.

For those who have already been baptized but are preparing to become full members of the Christian community through the Sacrament of Confirmation, a sponsor is selected to both help them prepare and help them continue on their journey of faith after their Confirmation. As mentioned, Canon Law says it’s desirable that one of the candidate’s godparents fulfill this role but it’s not required.

For those preparing to receive all of the Sacraments of Initiation (Baptism, Confirmation, and Holy Eucharist) through the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA), it’s preferable to select the same person as godparent and sponsor.

Well, since Catholic Confirmation sponsors are supposed to help their candidates fulfill their Baptismal promises, you’ll have to learn what those are – and then be willing and able to discuss them with enthusiasm! Confirmation Sponsors should pray regularly with their candidates, attend classes or retreats when invited, and show their candidates how to more fully take part in the life of the Christian community.

Especially when the candidates are young people – in middle school or high school – it’s important for sponsors to be very supportive and encourage their candidates to build the foundation for a strong faith life. Sponsors must therefore be comfortable talking openly and honestly about their own faith journey, with the goal of guiding and mentoring the young candidate.

And although Confirmation sponsors are not catechists, it’s important for them to be fully prepared to discuss the core beliefs and teachings of the Catholic Church with their candidates. These discussions must be faithful to the teachings of the Church. To be blunt, sponsors shouldn’t guess or say, “Well, what I think is…”

HINT: If your candidate asks you a question about the Catholic faith and you aren’t absolutely sure of the answer, then just say so! And then use it as an opportunity for you and your candidate to do a little research.

One great way to brush up on the core beliefs and teaching of the Catholic Church is to take our Confirmation Sponsor Crash Course FULL Version!

Specifically, the Code of Canon Law (874) explains the following:

1. Sponsors must be at least 16 years old.
2. Sponsors must have received the sacraments of Initiation: Baptism, Confirmation, and Holy Eucharist.
3. Sponsors must not be a parent of the one to be confirmed.
4. Sponsors must lead “a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on.” In other words, Confirmation sponsors must be practicing Catholics in good standing.

To learn more about what is required of Catholic Confirmation Sponsors, check out our FREE Confirmation Sponsor Mini Course!

The candidate is allowed to choose only one sponsor and, although the Church recommends it, the sponsor need not be one of the candidate’s godparents. The sponsor’s role, according to the Code of Canon Law (892), “is to take care that the confirmed person behaves as a true witness of Christ and faithfully fulfills the obligations inherent in this sacrament.”

The Church requires that Confirmation sponsors be full members of the Christian community and that they be mature people. The Apostolic Constitution on the Sacrament of Confirmation actually describes three activities for sponsors.

1. Sponsors are asked to bring their candidates to receive the sacrament of Confirmation.
2. Sponsors must present their candidates to the Bishop or the priest for the anointing.
3. Sponsors must help their candidates fulfill their baptismal promises.

The first two are pretty clear but there’s a lot that goes into that third activity!

Not sure how do you do that? Would you like to learn what you need to KNOW so that you CAN do that?

Then sign up for our FREE Confirmation Sponsor Mini Course and we’ll get you headed in the right direction on this amazing journey of faith!

So what does that mean for you? It means you should be a Confirmed, practicing Catholic, who is in good standing with the Church (i.e. you’re receiving the Sacraments). Oh – and you have to act like a grown up!

The Apostolic Constitution on the Sacrament of Confirmation actually describes three activities for Confirmation Sponsors:

1. Sponsors must bring their Candidates to receive the sacrament of Confirmation. (Pretty straight-forward.)
2. Sponsors must present their Candidates to the Bishop or the priest for the anointing. (Again, pretty clear.)
3. Sponsors must help their candidates fulfill their baptismal promises. (This is where the work comes in!)

My guess is that you know all about the first two activities because your sponsor did them with you when you were being Confirmed. However, depending upon what your Sponsor did (or didn’t do), you might be a bit unsure of the third activity.

To learn more about helping your Candidate fulfill her or his baptismal promises, register to take our Confirmation Sponsor Mini Course. It’s self-paced, online, and absolutely FREE!

Don’t wait. Take two minutes and register right now. Your Candidate is definitely worth it!